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Last Shabbat, during services, I shared a poem titled “Tishrei” by Rabbi Osnat Eldar.  Rosh HaShanah falls on the first day of the month of Tishrei. I've found myself revisiting this poem throughout the week and would love to share it with you here as well.

Tishrei

The seasons did not change on time this year

But the clock struck Elul

Forgive me For not rising with the sun

To beg your forgiveness for the year that has passed.

From the pardons of my life I am learning to walk anew.

On cracked, stony soil I no longer apologize

It is not my turn to apologize this year

I simply learn to pray for rain

The clock struck Elul

And I awoke as the morning gently pushed back the night 

To thank You, nevertheless, for all You have created

For creating me

To be who I am destined to be

And who I was.

Understand It’s too much for me to be born anew every Tishrei

So, I prefer to patch over Just a single hole In the hole-ridden firmament above us 

While I am not exactly sure of the poet's exact intentions behind these beautiful words, I would like to share my interpretation. This year has been so unusual, and much of it has been colored by the events of October 7th. For me, the heaviness of this year often caused the days to blur together and as a result, I felt out of sync. 

Suddenly, the month of Elul arrived, but many of us did not feel truly ready. We are still grappling with confusion and sadness from the events of the year and “learning to walk anew.”

Perhaps because of the profound trauma and sorrow of the year, we have not been able to engage in the soul work we typically do to prepare for this month and the new year. 

Introspection can be exhausting, and it’s important to remember to be kind to ourselves. We do not have to overhaul our lives or strive for unattainable perfection. This year, we can allow ourselves some grace; and maybe we don’t have to engage in the intense soul-searching that our tradition instructs at this season. 

Instead, we might focus on simply “patching over a single hole,” embracing self-acceptance and expressing gratitude for who we are meant to be. 

As we navigate this month of Elul, let us be gentle with ourselves and forgive our shortcomings. It has been a challenging year, and we are all tired. Perhaps Elul this year can be focused on loving ourselves, imperfections and all.

Shabbat Shalom.