The Impact of Generational Divides
08/22/2024 07:12:38 AM
As you may know, last Shabbat we hosted retired psychologist Dr. Betsy Stone for a weekend of learning. As a result of our learning with her, we have been talking a lot about generational differences here at Temple Sinai among staff and congregants.
Dr. Stone's keynote presentation, which she shared with members of our Sinai staff family, explored the idea of generational divides. For instance: were we “latchkey” kids? or were we raised by helicopter parents? Did we have low-tech childhoods or are we true digital natives? How does being a millennial influence the way we interact with others versus being a baby boomer? More broadly, how does the time period in which we were born impact our development and growth as a person?
The presentation led to a fascinating conversation and generated a great deal of discussion. We came to the realization that we are products of the generations in which we were born and the ways that we were raised by diverse parents. Yes, these create big generalizations and there are unique features to all of us, but it does help us to understand our common origins.
I’ll share a personal example that helps to illuminate this idea:
Rafi had his first Kabbalat Shabbat at The Davis Academy last week. There were 700 people and it was very impressive. But of course, 700 people is a lot and it can be overwhelming for a 5-year-old. After five minutes or so, Rafi began getting restless, throwing his kippah and climbing over me. My reaction was, “It's fine, it's his first Shabbat, there are a lot of people, maybe he’s anxious or overwhelmed, not a big deal.” Natan’s reaction: “Rafi needs to sit appropriately during tefilah because that's the way it is. He needs to learn appropriate behavior in sacred spaces from a young age.” I am a millennial: we are about emotions and feelings. Natan is a Gen X-er, let's just say they are less about feelings. We realized that the worlds in which we were brought up were different and, as a result, the way we parent might be different as well.
Dr. Stone provided an opportunity for us all to think about our pasts and to connect with one another on a deeper level. We realized that Judaism is deeply impacted by generational divides regardless of the topic, whether interpersonal communication, worship, spirituality, thoughts on Israel, or Torah in general.
In our Parsha this week, Eikev, Moses reprimands the Israelites for the mistakes and flaws of the generations that came before them. God mentions the disaster of the Golden Calf, the uprising of Korah, the negative reporting of the spies, among other mishaps. God says to the Israelites, “You have been rebellious against God...since the day I knew you.” Even though the group of Israelites with whom God was speaking was not directly responsible for the mistakes of the Israelites who came before, God was nevertheless upset with them. God reprimanded them as if it was somehow their fault.
In what ways do we as individuals suffer the consequences of the actions, beliefs and ideas of the generations who came before? Are we ever able to truly separate ourselves from the past (both good and bad), or are we inextricably linked to the generations who came before us? And most importantly, how do we embrace the best of the generations that came before us--their wisdom and gifts that they have to bestow upon us--but also charge forward, leaving behind their mistakes and shortcomings? In 2 short weeks, we will begin the profound month of Elul, a spiritual alarm clock that can prepare us for the High Holy Days to come. It is a great chance for us to explore the questions of why we are the way we are. In so doing, perhaps we can unlock ideas and truths about how we can actualize our very best selves.
Shabbat Shalom!