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For as long as I can remember, my childhood rabbi, Rabbi Phil Schechter, never referred to God as “He.” “God is not a ‘him’,” he explained. God is God. I grew up hearing God referred to as God, the Eternal One, Adonai, Sovereign, and a host of other euphemisms that removed gender from God’s name and avoided pronouns altogether. In today’s parlance, my rabbi would’ve said that our prayerbook misgendered God. When “He” showed up in a reading, my rabbi automatically changed it to “God,” and we were trained to do the same. What was radical then is easily accepted now as it is reflected in our siddur today.

In my email signature, and in my Zoom room screen name, I include my chosen pronouns which are she/her. (I also include a link as to why this is important. You can visit it here.) I have always wanted to be referred to as she/her and that has not changed since I was a little girl. So one might ask the question why I list them at all.

My friends, we have entered an amazing time when we are finally coming to recognize that gender (and also sexuality) are not black and white, not this or that, and not always identifiable by sight or by someone’s name. Gender and sexuality are fluid and exist on a continuum. Someone may be male and not masculine, or have the sex organs of a woman but not identify as cisgender (a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex registered for them at birth). By listing one’s pronouns a person can tell you who they are and how to refer to them. By listing my pronouns, I normalize and make it safe for someone else to list theirs. The result is that I learn who they are and how to honor them.

I have many friends whose children or grandchildren have a gender identity that is different from that which they were known as children. They have told their parents and grandparents what they want to be called. For some it is easy to make the shift, for others it is harder. For many, even with the best of intentions, mistakes are made.

As we celebrate Pride Shabbat this week, we have the opportunity to become allies of all on the gender and sexuality spectrum, a literal rainbow of identities. It is a welcomed time when people do not have to suffer being mislabeled; a time of breaking free of antiquated paradigms and embracing people for exactly who they are in all of their God-given glory.

When we read the opening line in the book of Genesis, God is referred to as Elohim. In Hebrew it is a plural word, yet the verbs that are paired with it treat it as a singular noun. Maybe in the very beginning of our most sacred text we are learning that God’s pronouns might be they/them. I would love to think so.

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Pride,

Beth